Dear Wagon,
My roommate's new boyfriend is really annoying. He is here way too much, and acts like he owns the place. Seriously, last week he was rifling through the medicine cabinet while I was in the shower! I've tried talking to my roommate about it, but she isn't listening. Can you think of a way to help?
Sincerely,
Hates Roommate's New Mate
Dear Hates Rooomie's Mate,
We at Off the Wagon believe that talking to your roommate about boundaries is the way to go. But since you said you already tried that, it might be time to get a little creative.
How about stuffing packs of "Don't Have Ugly Children" gum around your roommate's things (in her purse, in her night stand, on her side of the medicine cabinet, under her pillow, etc.). Once the boyfriend starts finding these around, one of two things is bound to happen: 1. He worries she is thinking about having kids, so he freaks and leaves. OR 2. He worries she is thinking of having kids, so he starts a huge fight with her, and she throws him out. Either way, your part of the problem is solved.
There is the slight possibility, however, that your roommate may confront you about the gum. If this happens, you could try to claim that you saw a picture of her boyfriend as a baby, and she really needs it. You claim you were only trying to help. You might be the one put out, but at least you won't have to deal with him any more, right?
-Off the Wagon
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